When will Britney Spears be free? The guide for adults disconnected from children’s culture

Illustration for the article titled The Out-of-Touch Adults' Guide to Children's Cultivation: When Will Britney Spears Be Free?

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This week covers the entire spectrum of children’s internet culture, from Britney Spears stuck in guardianship, to a movie about the family stuck next to the ultimate Karen, to a TikTok lady who got stuck in her own chair. Let’s dive in – here’s what you need to know.

This week in Supreme Court rulings: teenage cheerleader justified

I don’t usually cover Supreme Court decisions, but this case features a disgruntled teenage cheerleader the vulgar Snapchat messages and a school district mean enough to take a question of discipline in the Supreme Court. The trouble started in 2017 when Brandi Levy, then a high school student in Pennsylvania, was not promoted to college joy.

Angry, the teenager posted “Fuck school fuck softball fuck cheer fuck everything” on her SnapChat, and tThe school responded by cutting her off from the encouragement team. Her parents filed a complaint, arguing that she was not at school when she swore on the internet, and maybe the school should stop being so fascist.

The case went from the Pennsylvania district court to the legal pyramid to the Big Show – the Supremes. In a victory for Free Speech and Cheeristocracy, tThe court ruled 8-1 that the Mahanoy School District violated Ms Levi’s First Amendment rights by disciplining her for an off-campus speech (and maybe they shouldn’t be so fascist). It’s not a total victory though: The court covered by admitting that there are circumstances in which off-campus speech could be grounds for academic discipline.

This week in the life tips: free t-shirts at Disneyland?

I don’t usually cover beat-the-system hacks, but this one features a TikTok influencer, sub-boobs, and free Disney loot. Disney fan Amanda DiMeo recently posted a video detailing an ingenious but totally unethical way to get a free Disneyland t-shirt.

“If you are wearing a shirt that shows a little below the breasts, they will write you a ticket so you can get a free shirt at the nearest gift shop,”DiMeo said in a video while showing off the $ 75 shirt.

While many of its reviewers promised to try the hack, other Disney-philes were not happy at all. “Please don’t abuse this,” wrote one commentator. “They’re just going to take the feature out and fire people for a change.”

Disney has not commented so far, but its website says it reserves the right to refuse admission to people wearing clothing that “exposes excessive parts of the skin that may be considered inappropriate. for a family environment ”. I don’t know if this works for men with hairy breasts, but I’m going to drive to Anaheim to find out.

This week in music: Britney fights for freedom

I don’t usually cover Guardianship Audiences, but this one features an imprisoned pop star battling his own father and a lengthy hashtag campaign online..

In 2008, Britney Spears’ father, James, got control of his money and himself after having apparently struggled with mental health and addiction issues. This arrangement has led fans to speculate that the reclusive pop star wais being held against her will. Now Britney has confirmed the rumors.

Spears phonedat a Los Angeles court hearing on Wednesday to claim she was drugged, forced to work against her will, and prevented from getting pregnant due to her father’s legal control over her life, and she would like that this ends. “I just want my life back,” Spears said in court, adding, “I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m so angry it’s crazy… I really believe this guardianship is abusive.

Outside the courthouse, hundreds of Britney supporters gathered, many carrying “#FreeBritney” signs, and listened to speeches in support of the pop star and against abuse of the guardianship system.

Despite the ubiquity of the FreeBritney hashtag, legal experts doubt Spears will be released. “Britney said in this case that the father was doing more harm than good, but there are reasons why she is still in guardianship,” Tamar Arminak, an attorney who worked with Amanda Bynes’ parents in her 2014 Guardianship case, told NBC. The most likely outcome, according to Arminak, is the removal of Spears’ father from guardianship and a loosening of her terms, but she likely won’t be left on her own.

This week in TikTok activism: Black TikTok on strike

I don’t usually cover the hectic race relations quagmire in America, but this story does introduce online influencers, Megan Thee Stallion, and the notorious lack of dance skills of whites.

It all started when online celebrity Addison Rae featured a bunch of TikTok dance moves on Jimmy Fallon’s show without crediting the Black of people who invented the dances. Influencer Eric Louis answered by calling Black of TikTok dancers not to create moves for Megan Thee Stallion’s new joint “Thot Shit”. In a story at least as old as Elvis Presley, Louis and company argue that white TikTokers take ownership of their moves, get paid, and don’t give credit, and they would sit still but clap outside of time if not. was for Black of people.

Although the strike raises a serious problem, the videos imagine the dances the whites will create for you the song of Stallion is hilarious …but not as funny as the real attempts.

Viral Videos of the Week: Trailers for Karen and Candy

I don’t usually link to two viral videos in a single week, but I’m making an exception to point you to a pair of horror movie trailers that couldn’t be more different.

The first is the trailer for Karen, an upcoming film produced by BET where a racist white woman named Karen moves next to a Blacks family and lives up to its famous name. The trailer has generated a lot of reaction on the internet, with people claiming it looks more like an SNL parody than a real movie, highlighting the oddly whitewashed racism the trailer portrays and unearthing real ones. right-hazelnut wings of the actress who plays Karen, Orange is the new black Taryn Manning, whose name even rhymes with Karen.

Karen Looks like a Third Order Jordan Peele knockoff, but the Peele himself is behind the upcoming horror movie Candy. Awesome ’90s movie reboot was written and produced by Peele and was directed by Nia DaCosta, whose first movie, thriller Little wood, is just amazing. Candy is scheduled for August, and while I haven’t seen either of the two movies, I can tell you for sure that it will be better than Karen. Check out the trailer.

This Week In Kink: Fetish Stunt Goes Wrong

I don’t usually cover people stuck in chairs … okay, I do usually cover people trapped in chairs. So let me tell you the story of Sydney Jo, who got stuck in a chair on the internet.

Prior to the incident, Jo had a sleeping little TikTok where she posted sex videos. A recent video of hers was about “Stuck Fetish”. I had never heard of it either, but apparently there are people out there who get excited about people getting stuck in or in things.

To spice up her video, Jo demonstrated with a folding chair …but she actually got stuck. It’s not “I’m really turned on by this naughty action of being stuck in a chair”, but “I’m going to call the fire department now because I might die” is kind of stuck.

Because it is 2021, Jo has documented the all the drama on video, including the arrival of firefighters and their attempts to get her out of the folding chair. (It’s not setting up a porn, I swear.)

Firefighters first tried bolt cutters but that didn’t work, so they used the Jaws of Life, designed to extract crash victims from mutilated cars. It did the trick, freeing Jo and giving her the millions of views content creators dream of.

Post Script: After making a some media interviews, Jo seems to have deleted his TikTok account without any explanation. Maybe she got stuck in a couch or something.


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