We asked a sex therapist your burning questions about sex and well-being

E ! News: How can new parents keep the spark going while having realistic sexual expectations?

RAS: It’s so hard to find the energy to engage in intimacy when you have this little human depending on you. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself the same way you would with a friend going through a difficult time. But the factor that impacts the libido the most is fatigue. If you can prioritize more rest, it will naturally boost everything else. I also don’t want couples who have a newborn to put pressure on themselves.

E ! News: How can new moms feel comfortable and in touch with their bodies again when so much is changing?

RAS: There’s this misconception that once you have a baby, six weeks later, your OBGYN allows you to have sex again. But the body doesn’t say, “OK, the six weeks are here. I’m back to how I was.” The body can take up to a year to start feeling it bounce back. It’s normal if you don’t feel like having sex for the first six months after having a baby or, for some, for up to a year. Recognizing your body will be a slow exploration, but take your time getting back to what you want to do.

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