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How to Prepare for Your Post-Vax Slutty Summer


Adults are, of course, allowed to hit other consenting adults, and from this week, they are also all allowed to be vaccinated against COVID-19. And after more than a year of compulsory – and necessary – isolation, everyone is excited. Hell everyone is summer randy, but the vaccine rollout has finally revealed a light at the end of the tunnel. And for many people this light is a summer bitch.

Even though it’s always important to stay safe, the summer bitch is coming and, from what our sources say, there is no way to stop it. Danielle Noguera, CEO of 5 star smiles, a Miami-based cosmetic dentistry company, said it was “obvious” people are gearing up for a 2021 season that will catch up with 2020.

“Now that [the city] opens again, everyone wants to feel better. They want to be their best, ”she told Lifehacker, noting that she had seen lines outside cosmetic surgery offices in Coral Gables for weeks. and that everyone she knows is already partying. “They just want to get ready for summer, you know?” It’s exciting because everyone has been on a global hiatus for a year and a half. “

Planning participate in the festivities and want to stay safe? Here are some tips to help.

Remember the pandemic is not over

You may have followed all the rules since March 2020—wore a mask, stayed indoors, refused to see his family while on vacation, and got vaccinated –but not everyone has done or has not. There are a lot of people who have been eligible for the jab for months but refuse to get it. You have to account for it, and for people who did not have the means to be vaccinated or the luxury of being able to work from home. People are still dying from this virus.

So first of all: you should always wear your mask, at least at indoor gatherings, if you are not sure that everyone else present is vaccinated. (CDC says if everyone is vaccinated and not living with someone at risk, you may be maskless, but are you really going to ask this question of everyone at a party?) Continue to wash your hands as well. Get your laminated vaccine card or stored in a holder, and find out if your state has an app to store proof of your vaccine on your phone. Even if you are feeling totally overwhelmed, keep COVID-19 in mind.

Think about all the ways you have battled communicable diseases and infections in your pre-pandemic social life. You would never share a lip balm with someone who has a visible cold sore. You would never sleep with someone who refused to use protection or who became evasive when you asked them about the last time they were tested. The symptoms of COVID are the new cold sores in this analogy, and the masks are the new condoms. The test results are the novelty … test results. Simply incorporate COVID precautions into your existing pre-hookup checklist.

Familiarize yourself with a new pre-pillow talk

You may be opening it a lot in the coming months, but the fact remains that the process will not be fair as in past summers. Namely, the days of bringing a stranger home and acquiring fleshly knowledge without first learning their name are over.

The allure of an anonymous relationship can be strong if you’ve spent months in confinement with a roommate or family members you know too much about …but wait, at least a little longer. You still need to know a few things about the person you are trying to crush. Ask them when they had their last COVID test, what precautions they usually take, if they have a high-risk job, and if they are vaccinated.

Colleen, a 28-year-old woman based in Brooklyn and self-proclaimed “local slut,” told Lifehacker that she will be spending the next few months “as naked as possible” and “completely slutty” to make up for the summer of 2020. she plans to ask each potential partner their vaccination status, without exception.

Drex Clemons, a humorist, “Shameless Monster,” and a recently vaccinated 27-year-old Brooklyn resident, recentlyhas uploaded his old list of dating apps and is ready to go, but he’s also started some match conversations by bringing up his Johnson & Johnson vaccine at, “See if they open up to getting the vaccine themselves.” Clemons was clear that he only wanted to have other people vaccinated, but noted that the conversation was not difficult at all.

“Getting vaccinated is new: ‘I have a dog,’” he explained. That is, most potential matches have already written it down in their Tinder bio.

Prepare with a personalized routine

Clemons and Colleen both said they added a number of steps to their usual self-care routine in order to feel as good as possible, as quickly as possible.

Colleen has always been a runner, she said, but started to introduce HIIT workouts, yoga, and Peloton walks into her existing fitness routine. She has also always been in skin care, but she has been content to splurge on top of the line Drunk Elephant products and add new steps to her regimen, with teeth whitening strips and a new electric toothbrush. A recent move was influenced in part by her desire for roof access, and after signing a new lease, she ordered new bikinis and plans to start getting “fully wax.

Clemons’ changes seemed similar. He told Lifehacker: “I started going back to the gym, eating better, buying new spring clothes, moving to a better apartment, and updating my furniture.”

He also prepared mentally. Clemons pointed out that he has a lot of personal growth in quarantine and no longer feels like the only thing he has to offer a potential partner is sex. Based on his experience with apps, he says, he thinks other singles are in a similar state of mind.

“We all spent a year trying to figure out what we wanted,” he said, noting that although he met some aggressively pro-slutty summer users with a Tinder bio asking digital suitors to “Slip if [they] voted for Biden and loves to eat ass, ”he also found a lot of people who explicitly state that they are looking for meaningful relationships after so many months of loneliness.

Trust that if you were not among those who have done a lot of self-examination and self-improvement in quarantine, you are not alone either. There is still time to think carefully, if you wish.

Noguera added that she has seen a lot of people embrace the cosmetic enhancement after a year of rest.

“A lot of people gain uncomfortable weight,” she says. “They don’t take care of themselves. They haven’t done their hair or anything that makes you feel sexy or attractive. So right now it’s like an overflow of everyone wanting to feel good, look good, spend money, and be on the outside.

Embrace the skin you’re in or do a total overhaul. No one needs to know you just spent 15 months in your college sweatshirts if you don’t want to.

Resume practice

Have you noticed that you are a little more awkward in the conversation now when you do meet someone new? This Lifehacker writer recently missed an in-person order from Dairy Queen so badly that she was tempted to leave without her Brownie Batter Blizzard. Before the pandemic, talking to people – from hot guys to ice cream servers – wasn’t much of a problem.

The moral of this story is that you have to stick with it, whether you’re waiting for a frozen treat after forgetting how to communicate, or trying to talk with a potential lover. There is a reward at the end anyway.

Clemons said that even though he reconnected the dating apps, he always plans to meet and talk as much as possible with people in real life.

“I’m going to be in outdoor bars, parks, sheds and rooftops,” he said. “I prefer to meet people in person.”

We won’t lie to you: you could knock here. But you also might have hit when trying to hit someone in 2019 when you had a lot of practice too. Don’t focus on how you’re not used to talking with people anymore; focus on how easily it used to be, and remember you can come back to this point even if you weren’t always succeeded then either.

And here’s the good news: Colleen said she thought she would end up lowering her old standards a bit “in the name of having fun.” Even if you’re a little socially inept right now, everyone is too, so your chances of scoring are pretty high. Get out, really out there, that is to say outdoor bars as much as possible and have fun. Safely.

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