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Here’s Hillary refusing to answer questions about whether her presidential campaign spied on former President Donald Trump.
JOURNALIST: Did you pay to spy on the Trump campaign? When are you going to comment on the spying allegations, Hillary? Did you pay for it to be spied on?
As you know, it’s a legend that Hillary’s campaign lawyers in 2016 paid to access servers belonging to Trump Tower. And later, the White House, to establish a narrative to bring in two federal government agencies that would link Donald Trump to Russia.
But even though Hillary didn’t respond to questions about it, she did manage to tweet, saying, “Trump & Fox desperately spew fake scandal to distract us from theirs. So it’s a Y-day. ”
Well, look, Pantsuit, nobody must have run this. It’s not from “Fox & Friends” or Mar-a-Lago or b——- Kim Jong Un.
This is from John Durham’s investigation, so no wonder you’re begging the media to circle the wagons around you, because you’ve been pushing Russian collusion non-stop, and now it turns out you’ve been the accomplices since the beginning.
So we’re going to come to that. But, first ethanol.
Yeah, I’m like a parent who makes you eat the broccoli before you get the pudding. Or in Kat’s case, lithium.
Yes, ethanol, as you know, is made from corn, or as Liz Warren calls it, corn. And for years it was mixed into gasoline sold at American gas pumps.
I know a man did something that no one wanted to impose on you. The reason? It was better for the planet. So the corn that would normally feed millions of people around the world, or Tyrus for a week, would fill your gas tank instead.
But take this. Now it turns out that ethanol probably contributes far more to global warming than pure gasoline, according to a new study.
Yeah, everything they told us about ethanol and climate was like Russian collusion, Covington, Kavanaugh, the origins of COVID and what’s really inside Geraldo’s mustache.
That’s all BS Yep, it’s yet another liberal fantasy that causes the opposite of its purpose, like public spending, poverty alleviation, or “The Daily Show” inspiring laughter.
Everything is taken from a study published in the “Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences”.
This is where I worked before they caught me abusing a cup, and it contradicts previous research showing that ethanol is a green energy source.
Now scientists are discovering that, like Joe Biden in a portable jar, ethanol is no friend to the climate.
In fact, it’s at least 24% more carbon intensive than gas. Of course, the ethanol trade lobby trashed the study.
And why wouldn’t they? They’re the ethanol trade lobby, not the Society for Saving You Money to Spend on Gas Station Snacks like those amazing cheese sandwich crackers with real peanut butter.
Am I the only one? Good. Well, it’s been a cash cow for the lobby and the farmers have been paid for the corn whether it really worked or not.
It is therefore a real source of green energy. Our oil refiners must produce some 15 billion gallons of corn-based ethanol into our gas supply every year.
Even for Eric Swalwell, that’s a lot of gas.
ERIC SWALWELL: The president used taxpayers’ money to ask Ukrainians to help them cheat an election.
Look, we have to make ethanol interesting somehow.
But while the policy claimed to reduce emissions, it turned into a giant subsidy for corn farmers. And that mandate forced additional acres of land to be used to grow corn, which otherwise would have been used to feed people.
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Meanwhile, this tillage of the fields released more carbon from the soil, while nitrogen fertilizers also produced emissions.
Dear Lord, this is most of the research I’ve done since I decided to soundproof my basement love lair.
I did so much research that I even found this long lost video in the corn hall.
CORN LOBBY SKELETONS
Good work, researchers. So what’s the moral here? That everyone is full of poop, and not even corn-filled poop.
Especially climate experts, lobbyists and politicians. While you struggle to fill your gas tank, they fill their bank accounts, forcing us to subsidize such a useless product as Charlie Sheen’s guide to proper dental care.
For years we were told to buy that shit, but if we didn’t, we hated the farmers.
Although I admit, I never liked Mr. Green Jeans, even at 10 I didn’t buy it.
Meanwhile, the price of corn rose for everyone because our gas tanks were now the main customer, not our stomachs. And like gas tanks, the cost of filling them has also increased.
We were fine. We could eat other things. Hell, I supplement my diet with rare ocelots. I am not rich.
But for poor countries, maize has become more expensive. Has anyone starved to death? Who knows. There is no Wikipedia page for that. But at least our air was better here. Except it wasn’t.
So this is it. Like the programming of CNN or the Russian collusion and music of Maroon 5, ethanol subsidies and politics in general are just garbage.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue in the February 16, 2022 edition of “Gutfeld!”