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Yes, you can’t hear me. You don’t know what I’m saying. Happy Wednesday everyone. Happy Wednesday or, as I like to call it back home, bump day. The woman cooks amazing camel burgers. All right, sit down. Here is a short story that will make you spit your oat milk latte on the face of an orphan.
Did you know that muscular, strong, burly men are perceived as more conservative than weak, skinny, skinny guys? Oh, that’s right, huh? The show is over. Must go. True true. It seems to sound more manly than that. What? No wonder he’s out of work. And that’s before I even open that beautiful mouth. Well, American researchers are now confirming what we suspected, namely that the muscular physique goes hand in hand with conservatism. And if you’re puny, well, you’re probably a progressive god too. Horrible language, but one that makes sense.
PENCE KEEPS DISTANCE WITH REPUBLICANS IN FACE OF ELIMINATING TRUMP FROM THE BALLOT
Look how leftist these guys are, right? Eh? Either way, it’s probably a mistaken photo. Participants in the US study were asked to rate the political orientation of men who varied in strength and muscle, while considering various facets of what constitutes conservatism, and strongmen appeared to be more conservative than weaker ones. Meanwhile, broad-shouldered men are only considered liberal when changing in the women’s locker room. Additionally, the perception that muscles are synonymous with conservatives has been observed, whether the beliefs relate to societal or economic issues. And that makes sense when you consider what it takes to get those muscles. Discipline, hard work, delayed gratification, extra protein, all values that would make a gender studies report a hate crime. But, you know, doesn’t that make sense?
Conservatism relies on incentives. Do this, get that. Liberalism is the opposite. Do nothing, it’s okay, we have you. Thus, the left rewards bad behavior and the right rewards good behavior, otherwise known as effort. That’s why everyone in Antifa looks like a load of shit. Let’s hit them. Their idea of fitness is having a piercing that’s mildly infected with hepatitis. The study also found that people think strong men value their personal freedoms more than weaker men should. But what does this mean for the rest of us? Like, say, freedom-minded conservative dudes who aren’t as muscular as they’d like.
You know, Jesse is about as conservative as they come, but the only lift he does is a hairbrush, 500 reps on each arm three times a day, and yet he has the upper body strength of Kat Timpf or what about fan-favorite comedian Joe Machi here. ? Look at this. What a pile of animal flesh. Crawl all over him. But do people unfairly think he’s a weak liberal because he has the face of your aunt who never married and had 14 cats?
TIRE: thank you for vsCome on, Joe.
It is said that every time he walks around New York, he finds himself upside down with his legs sticking out of the top of a trash can. People don’t think he looks like a liberal, they just think he looks like a lesbian.
IT’S TRUMP’S RACE TO LOSE FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS BEFORE FIRST VOTES IN GOP NOMINATION BATTLE
JOE MACHI: Oh wow.
TIRE: Thanks for coming.
Yeah, you should have seen the ones I cut, really bad. But of course there is Tyrus. He himself could kick the mouth of the GOP elephant. Is there a question how he and his 38 inch neck votes?
TIRE: No, thank you, mom.
Yeah. And then there’s Kat. It’s true that her arms are mistaken for triangles, but she’s as nervous as a short-haired terrier tangled in a ball of yarn. The fact is that there are exceptions. Just look at Chris Cuomo, if you can find him. His new show airs at midnight on the CCTV of a 7-Eleven in Queens. Now, he’s not conservative at all, but look at him. He developed those muscles and built them through resistance training, mostly with women trying to resist his advances. I’m kidding. I’m not. So while the study participants all equated a muscular physique with strong conservative values, that’s not always the case, is it? But at least, in the eyes of many, it is. It’s as if my uncle always told me: “You can judge a book by its cover”. Well, unless it’s written by Brian Kilmeade. Nerd. No, me neither. This woman…
PENCE, RAMASWAMY, CROSS WAYS BUT DON’T EXCHANGE FIRE AT SAME CAMPAIGN EVENT IN KEY PRIMARY STATE
TIRE: It is my mother.
I know, but listen, I know such generalizations suck, and my motto is to favor individuals over groups. But my impression as to their true adequacy is that they are either apolitical or right-wing. They are never declared leftists. So why can’t people apply the principles of fitness to other aspects of life if they know it works? Muscles get better depending on what you put into them, but that too, it makes sense, would be good for work, education, safety, security, the border, the economy. So if you like the gym, you might want to try this mentality somewhere else, because it’s no surprise that a lot of people equate looking strong with acting strong.
So the next time you need someone with strong values and a strong jawline, pick a TV host who has the broad shoulders and chiseled physique you need.
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