Greg Gutfeld: Here’s why school choice legislation can ‘reshape the country’

Happy Monday everyone. So let’s talk about an important fight that has only just begun. No, it’s not Kudlow vs. Kilmeade in Foxy Boxing, but tickets are still available. Yeah, it didn’t land. Florida joined Iowa, Utah and Arkansas to become the fourth state this year to adopt universal school choice. It’s so important. This caused Randi Weingarten to finally wash her hair. Today, Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill that extends the state’s education savings account to all K-12 students, regardless of race, income, background or even their postal code. Mm-hmm. Now that they have a choice of school, Florida parents’ biggest worry will be that their children will be eaten by pythons. That wouldn’t be a concern for me.

So the good news is that these funds could be used for everything from private school tuition, tutoring, textbooks, home schooling, e-learning, special needs therapy . And in Florida, alligator repellant. As proponents say, it funds students, not systems, which may ultimately force public schools to compete in anything other than best drag queen.

Florida is the sixth state in the nation to approve such options and if more states do the same, it could reshape the country. But there remains a challenge. It’s time. Parents don’t have any, activists do. Whether it’s graphic sex in textbooks, critical race theory or drag queen story time, parents are always caught off guard. They are lied to that this is not really happening until they find out that their daughter, Tammy, is now going through Timmy. This is the activism equation. Parents are busy making babies, caring for babies, working to pay for those babies. Activists do not have these pressures. I mean, have you seen them? Who would make babies with that? Oh yeah. Applaud their ugliness. They are simple.

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So it’s free time and the creeps have a lot of it. That’s why they can protest. It’s not like they’ll be late for work because owning cats isn’t technically a job. So they have time to fuss and indoctrinate. You don’t. The thing is, the people trying to change your world don’t even live there. If you think men have babies, you probably don’t have babies. They don’t take care of daycare or diapers like parents do. Or Joe Biden.

They like a low blow, this crowd, and that’s why I like them. But activists, they don’t live your life. Instead, they are what I call problem squatters. They show up on land that isn’t theirs and act like they’re the new sheriff in town. Activists intrude on your children’s lives and do so under the guise of privacy rights. Yeah. Suddenly, elementary school lesson plans are classified. As if adults saying it’s our little secret had already led to something good. Have you seen the TikTok videos of bug-eyed activists bragging about indoctrinating children?

It’s not a figment of your imagination. Like that dream you keep having of me windsurfing. But when you shine a light on it, they freak out. This is their golden rule. You won’t show the world exactly what we say because even they know their ideas are crude and need to be hidden from light and sanitized.

Just like mushrooms or Billy Baldwin. I have to pursue this Baldwin now. We miss Baldwin. No kidding. People on the left accuse you of transphobia for simply tweeting their TikTok videos. Sorry to complain about a video you posted that got more exposure, you must have bigger balls than a swimmer.

So the activists have parents over a barrel, and the barrel is just being a parent. You know, parents are crazy. They get the kids ready for school, pay the bills, drive minivans, wear horrible jeans. They don’t have time to fight angry and joyless militants. It’s not a fair fight because the weapon, again, is time and the parents are just too busy to fight back. They are therefore the last to know who they are really fighting against. And activists have nothing to do but shout for goofy causes and because face tattoos are painful. And after having turned the lives of others upside down, what do these activists say? Well, mind your business. Stay out of ours. Yeah. Creeps who want to disrupt your children’s growth believe they have a right to privacy. No. They have gone too far.

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In fact, it’s a movement that has gone too far altogether. Thus, the choice of school is no longer a question of education, but of values. It’s not about classes or cafeterias or teacher-student ratio. It is about indoctrination in the form of gender, politics, the theology of oppression and guilt by historical association. And here’s why. Life does not make these people unhappy. So these people have to make their own, and they have to find that raw material somewhere.