Who inspires you?
My cat, Pig. He wakes up, eats a bowl of tuna, does a huge drain, acts like an idiot for an hour and then takes a nap. It’s the daily routine every comedian dreams of.
What prompted you to get into comedy?
The perfect mix of a terrifying ego and an astonishing lack of self-esteem. I can’t tell on a daily basis if I’m arrogant or self-hating, but I think somewhere in between is absolutely ideal for a comedian.
What did you spend the confinement doing?
Some days it was quite similar to Pig. Then other days I would record so many podcasts on Zoom that I felt like I was made of pixels and living inside the laptop, which was actually quite comforting. Other than that, I was doing things like riding my bike to the butcher like I was a character in Heartbeat. I barbecued about four times a week, which I considered my spiritual high, but my wife has since confided that she thought I was down.
Do you remember a gig so bad it’s now funny?
Jamie Oliver’s food festival. No idea of the year, but I remember my stage time: 11:40 am. On the main stage. They open the doors at 11:30 a.m. I had to wave people a mile away to try and joke with them. A disaster, yes, but I savored every second.
Where do you find your material?
In a dumpster on Clapham Common. Second from the right when entering through the south entrance. No idea who wrote it, but it’s pretty solid.
What is your current show about?
The political situation, the death of the novel and third wave feminism from a French point of view. That’s just a hint – on the surface, it’s mostly buffet breakfasts.
Pre-show rituals?
I turn off MasterChef for about seven seconds before continuing. I prefer to be as close to my personality as I can be on stage and off. Although quite often I end up looking more like Gregg Wallace.
Comedy heroes and why?
M Blobby. Because he really doesn’t care.
Non-comic hero and why?
Ryan. Because he’s as funny as any comedian I know, but he’s got too much skill in other arts to care about stand-up. He is brilliant.
Better to heckle you have you ever had?
There is no good heckling. Don’t heckle. It’s always boring.
Best advice you want to give?
To up-and-coming comedians: concert, concert, concert, and remember that nothing matters as much as you think. To people in general: buy tickets to come see me on tour.
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