What aftermath of your hostage-taking affects you the most?
The suffering of my (two) children is a permanent pain. Whenever there is tension in the family, the pain of the abduction immediately resurfaces, the impossibility of filling the void of this time and this distance where we were not together (…). Discussions are tense because every time we separate, someone takes a plane, we have to formalize a trip, there is the anguish of the separation, because of a certain trip, I did not come back. And this is something that, for them, is still a very hard experience. I think no one can understand.
It will change my life to know that Colombians stop trivializing violence
What repair do you hope for?
I believe that I will have received compensation the day, in Colombia, we can go out into the streets without fear, where thinking differently will not be a crime (…). In the meantime, I, all my companions who were kidnapped and the victims of the Farc, we want this process to lead to peace without impunity. This is important to us. We accept that they don’t go to jail if they tell the whole truth. It is a commitment that we have made. But within the framework of the powers of the Peace Court to pronounce sentences and convictions, there is a margin for there to be sentences with deprivation of liberty (…). I think it is important that we have exemplary sentences and it is not with a vindictive spirit, not at all. I don’t want them to go to jail, I’m not interested, it won’t change my life, but it will change my life to know that Colombians stop trivializing violence.
What type of conviction do you want?
I think it has to be a conviction with deprivation of liberty. Not in prison, but with mobility restrictions in their home or in the space where they live. Let them feel that they are limited in their lives because of what they have done. For me, honestly, when I’m told that there may be other “restorative convictions” then, what, they’re going to plant trees? No thanks. Gardening for what they did to us? No.
How do you see today those who were your executioners?
I think they have come a long way – which I recognize – to get out of this dynamic in which they thought: “We were fighting for the people and what we did we did because we had a just ideology ”(…). But it is clear that inside the war, in the most aberrant situations of war, what they have subjected us to, it does not happen, it is not allowed, it is a war crime and a crime against humanity. I think it’s something they still struggle to envision, but at least they want to recognize it. (…) Where I have the impression that they have not progressed is in the fact of connecting the emotions to the head. I think they have a difficulty feeling and it is a difficulty which, I think, is linked to their exercise as a warlord (…). I could see that their emotions are still totally frozen.
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